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What if?

By: Clarissa Constantine Wednesday March 3, 2021 comments

‘What if?’


This is, without question, one of my favorite questions. Or not favorite questions, depending on whether I have to use it myself.

There are two thoughts that show up for me relative to this question.

First, what I call ‘The “What If” Spiral.’ Whenever anxiety kicks in and I start what-if-ing myself, the what-ifs are NEVER positive. It’s never like, what if I win the lottery? Or, what if I find the best parking spot ever? Nope, instead, it’s negative…what if my husband gets mad at me? Or, what if I screw up this project and lose my job?

I had a therapist, once, who challenged me: every time you think a negative what-if, she said, counter it with a positive. ‘What if I never lose this weight?’ …..thinking….. ‘What if I find one new recipe a week to learn how to eat healthier?’

And that leads me to the second thought…’What if’ really opens up a world of possibility! What if my way of looking at things isn’t the ONLY way? What if I could be both confident in what I believe and open to learning new perspectives?

What if my husband’s seeming inability to pick up a sock isn’t really an ‘F you’….what if, instead, it’s simply that he doesn’t even SEE the stupid sock? What if my friend’s kid’s terse ‘What?’ response to my question isn’t meant to be rude – what if he’s just distracted or really into whatever he’s doing and is just not thinking about engaging with me? What if another kiddo’s misbehavior is actually about the fact that he is missing his friends & could really use a socially-distanced play date?

So today, here’s a challenge for you: pick ONE frustrating situation you’ve encountered in the last few days. Think about what you believe to be true. Now what-if the heck out of it. Piece by piece. What else could ALSO be true?

I’d love to know what you discover. 😊

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Clarissa Constantine

About the Author: Clarissa Constantine