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When Homework Resistance Turns into the Homework Battle

By: jessyc Monday April 17, 2023 comments Tags: studykills, tutoring, education, learning, studyhabits, relevance , homework, homeworkbattle

When Homework Resistance Turns into the Homework Battle

Jessyka Coulter, CEO & Founder, Ace Cookie Tutoring & Study with Jessy


What would it be like if your teens were actually willing to do their homework without a fight?

SURPRISE! Teens want to learn, but the battle begins when they don’t have the actual ability to complete an assignment. That may sound strange, but think about it. When you don't know how to do something (and you're supposed to), is it fun? Your teen might not understand what the homework questions are really asking nor know what steps to take. Unfortunately, most teens go into resistance mode instead of seeking help when they’re confused. Instead of asking you to explain the directions or going to the teacher for clarity of where to start, teens put up a wall, a front, and shut down.

Sometimes, it’s even simpler than that: teens don’t even know what the homework is. They didn’t listen or understand what the teacher said to do, or they totally missed the assignment. Your teen might know there is something to do, but he or she might have no idea what that actually is, let alone how to get it done.

Think about it for yourself: do you resist doing tasks at work? Is it because you don't know why you have to do them or because you're not sure how to do them? Our teens are no different. Once they have the actual ability to complete assignments, they're more likely to do them if they see the relevance.

Relevance is a key component in homework resistance and stopping the homework battle. Your child must have a very clear understanding of how that homework assignment matters to not just the real-world but to your teen’s actual life and to things he cares about. When your teen doesn’t see a direct connection between the assignment and something or someone he has a connection to, there is no buy-in and no real reason to see the homework as anything but busy work. 

When your teen values learning and knows how to learn using study skills, relevance is less of a problem. He knows how to learn, and your child will begin to make the connections for himself. Your teen will want to learn for the sake of learning. If that isn't where your teen is, I can help. Schedule a free Talk with Jessy (consultation) at so we can help your teen love to learn. In the meantime, it’s important for your teen to tie his interests and the things he cares about into school as much as possible. If a paper or assignment can be done any way your teen wants, that’s a perfect opportunity for relevance. Encourage your teen to find a connection between his interests and something being taught at school, boom - a great opportunity for relevance.

What if your teen doesn’t want to make the effort to find the relevance? Uh, oh... What if she isn’t motivated? It happens. Motivation is another study skill. Without a love to learn, your teen won’t want to start the homework she's been assigned. Your teen needs a reason to do the homework for HER benefit. Does she want a certain grade in the class?

How does she personally profit by doing the work? Most of us go to work for a paycheck. What reward does your daughter get for doing her homework? It must be something she wants to provide the needed motivation.

The answer: your daughter’s goal.

Goals are essential to eliminating the homework battle. On the days when homework is tough or when your teen is just tired and doesn’t want to do it, having a goal makes a difference. That goal is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a reason to keep moving forward. Each completed homework assignment brings your teen one step closer to completing her goal. What goal does your teen have? 

Stop fighting with your teen about homework. Reduce you and your teens' stress when the homework battle is no more because your teen loves to learn. Book a time for you, your teen, and me to talk. Go to today so we can discover the study skills your teen needs to succeed. You can keep fighting, or we can find the answer.


About the Author: jessyc

Jessyka Coulter is CEO & Founder of Ace Cookie Tutoring & Study with Jessy. Learn more about her services at Home - Ace Cookie Tutoring